"Peaceful is the one who's not concerned with having more or less. Unbound by name and fame, he is free from sorrow from the world and mostly from himself."
- Rumi
I spent the last two years embarking on a journey of self-discovery. I've always dreamed big, but I struggled with achieving my goals. I felt like my goals weren't as urgent as my to-do list. I thought to myself, "with all the tasks I have to complete in a day, how can I have time to indulge in fantasy?" One day I began to keep track of how I spent my day. After about a week, I noticed a pattern in the way I behaved. For example, one day I would say "I have no time to get things done" and other days, I would say "I am going to watch tv to kill time"
As you can see, I was living a paradox. How can I be feeling crunched by time at some moments and have free time at others? How I tackled this was by creating a long-term goal list and a short-term goal list. I scheduled my goals into my calendar. My strategy was to do something related to my goals every day. For example, I wanted to include reading into my daily routine. I began by allotting 15 min every night to do some reading. After about a month, I didn't even have to consciously think about scheduling in reading time, it became a habit. I now read for at least 30 minutes a day and sometimes struggle with putting the book down! Another example would be the time I wanted to rebrand Amera's Garden. The first day I spent creating a vision board of what I wanted for my brand. The following day I spent emailing different photographers to get a quote for the pictures I wanted. The next step was scheduling a date for the photos. Before I knew it, I had received the photos and they were better than I've ever imagined! After these instances, I realized that all it took was about 15 minutes every day, and over time my goals manifested before my eyes.
"Faith without works is utter foolishness"
Dreaming is only half the equation, having strong work ethics is the other half. To actualize my dreams, I knew that I had to work for it. I do not mean through hard labor, but by having the willpower to get things done. I had to let go of distractions that led me away from pursuing my goals. I began by reducing time I spent on my phone. I put time restrictions on apps so that I can hold myself accountable. I also limited the amount of time I spent watching tv and mindlessly scrolling. I started spend more time in my garden and found time to take on new hobbies, like puzzles and painting. The more time I spent doing what I desired, I felt a sense of peace. I realized that I was no longer dreaming... I was LIVING my dream.
In the book How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr Joe Dispenza, Dispenza combines the fields of quantum physics, neuroscience, brain chemistry, biology, and genetics to show you what is truly possible with your life. As I read this book, I developed a great fascination with the brain and how it operated. I wanted to learn more about the mind and how we can rewire it for greatness.
I knew that if I wanted to achieve peace in my life, my current habits and routine needed to change. Dr. Joe Dispenza wrote “Can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you don’t need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?” [1] Reading these words resonated deeply with my soul. Could it be that I can choose to experience peace in the midst of chaos? Yes. But to do that I needed to release all that I carry... or else it would weigh me down. It can feel like a struggle to let go of difficult emotions and experiences. However by releasing these stuck emotions, we are able to experience more joy and happiness in our present life. In an article, author Deepak Chopra wrote, "If we don’t deal with pain when it occurs, it will resurface as compounded emotional toxicity later on — showing up as insomnia, hostility, and anger, or fear and anxiety."
One way to release your emotions is through journaling. Writing has always been my forte, so this is my go-to method. I like to close my eyes and think about the emotion it is that I want to release. Once I pick up the pen, the words just flow out of me. I don't hold back on what I am feeling, and I allow my heart to express itself to the fullest. When I am done, I look at my writing and begin to see the parts of me that I've hidden from the world. We all have experiences that we don't want to confront because we think they are embarrassing, shameful or just too hard to face. Remember, feelings come and go like visitors. They only become tenants when we give them attention and develop a relationship with them. [2] If you ignore what your emotions are telling you, they will only knock harder. This can manifest as triggers, anger, defensiveness and much more. Sufi mystic and poet, Rumi, wrote about us curiously approaching our emotions rather than being scared or reluctant to experience them. I've decided to share one of my favourite poems on this topic:
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jellaludin Rumi,
Learning what my emotions are trying to teach me allowed me to experience life as it is. When we label some experiences as good, and others as bad, we view the world through hedonistic lens. The pursuit of pleasure may SEEM like what you want... but all it does is cause a feeling of lack. It leaves you feeling like you never have enough. When your brain is paying attention to what you don’t have, it doesn’t spend any time appreciating what you do have. To combat these feelings of lack, I decided to focus on what I am grateful for. Some things I listed were:
- I am grateful for all the love I receive
- I am grateful for my family and my friends
- I am grateful to have a partner who shows me unconditional love
- I am grateful for Amera's Garden-- and all of the people who support my business.
- I am grateful to have all my basic necessitates met
I try to have my gratitude list handy for whenever I need a quick reminder.
NOTE: This blog post will be updated whenever I feel guided to add more to it. Additional writing will be dated.
As always, thank you for taking the time to read this post!
Love,
Amera Athena